Moment of Weakness
by coin-jar
Summary: Lilly wasn’t the kind of girl who normally did that sort of thing, but it did have a nice ring to it.
1. Chapter 1

Det. Lilly Rush had never, ever said it aloud, but the thought had crossed her mind before.

Sometimes she'd let her mind wander, and think about how it would look on business cards and letterheads, Christmas cards and birth announcements.

If she thought about it long enough, Lilly would get the urge to write it down. To look at it in black and white and pretend that it was true—if only for a minute. After staring at it for a little while, though, she would regain control of herself and immediate throw the paper out or furiously scribble over it. Try to forget her moment of weakness.

Det. Lilly Valens. What a joke.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I guess I should mention how much I don't own Cold Case.

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To Det. Scotty Valens, Lilly Rush was extremely off limits. He knew that getting too close to her could wreck everything they had gone through over the years. Sure, she was attractive, maybe even beautiful, but any impulses he had were not worth the risk.

However, the thought would never completely leave his mind. And the more he seriously considered it, the more sure Scotty was that Rush would eat him alive. Then again, whenever he caught a glimpse just below her tough exterior, it struck Valens how much she needed someone to rely on, someone to pick up the slack when things got too heavy. He understood that, because of her nature, she would never let him—or anyone else for that matter—be that person. So, Scotty decided that the best thing he could do was just be there any time Lilly needed it, whether she appreciated it or not.

When it came down to it, even if Scotty thought they might possibly be good together, he had no idea how Lilly felt.

He had no clue, that is, until that fateful day when a crumpled sheet of paper bounced off the rim of the waste bin and landed next to Scotty's desk.

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A/N: Thank you so much to those who reviewed! Originally, the first chapter of this is was a stand alone, but because of y'all's wonderful reviews I felt inspired to continue it. (After the suggestions about Scotty finding a "Det. Lilly Valens" note lying around, I seriously couldn't resist--it was too good!) I hope you enjoy the result!

A/N 2: I edited it a little because I wasn't totally satisfied with the chapter, but I didn't change any major points, just fine tuned it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Cold Case.

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Scotty picked it up and almost threw it away, but hesitated as an old habit kicked in.

As far back as he could remember, he had always loved reading other people's notes and letters. Maybe it stemmed from his naturally curious nature or a childish hope that he'll find something truly amazing someday—Scotty wasn't quite sure. He was only positive that it wasn't about being nosey, not really. Valens never used what he read as an excuse to get involved in anyone else's business; he simply found it fascinating as an impartial observer.

Scotty gently untangled the paper as he sank down in his chair. It unraveled slowly, and he hoped that he was not wasting his time on a blank sheet. It was open in no time; Valens tenderly smoothed it along the edge of his desk. He held the sheet in front of him and scanned the page.

The first line contained three separate words, the first and shortest of which began with a capital M, but the rest of which were thickly crossed out. The second line, it seemed, only had two words, but they, too, were frantically scribbled over.

The third line had three words, none of which were crossed out. Instead, they were each emphatically underlined:

Det. Lilly Valens

"Huh," Scotty thought, "I don't think I can be impartial about this."

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A/N: I would not have even had the great idea to fuel this chapter if it weren't for you, beautiful reviewers. I don't have too much time to do personal messages, what with school and the job and all, so how about some shout outs? So thank you to Barbydancer, fbi-woman, Rhonda Roo, takenbyHim, Wyaline, LME, Elfi Blue, and oucellogal. You guys sure are great. And any other ideas? Keep 'em coming, cause they've been wonderful so far.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Cold Case is owned by someone else, someone who is not me.

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Valens stared at the note, all the possibilities of what it could mean racing through his mind. _Does she want to marry me? Was I meant to see this? Maybe it's somebody playing a joke_. No, it wasn't a joke. Scotty knew that handwriting. The third "L" and the "Y" in "Lilly" were connected by the slightest trail of ink—the way she always wrote it.

Now, the way she wrote Valens—he hadn't seen that as often. It was beautiful. The small swoop at the top of the "V" and steadiness of each line made it look like she had written it as many times as her own name.

"Scotty," he was snapped out of his trance by Lilly. She was walking out of the break room, a cup of coffee held tightly in her right hand. Rush's left hand was causally extended toward her partner, ready to provide him with his own cup. Scotty hastily folded the paper into a small rectangle and stuffed it in his pocket, smiling brightly at Lilly. He hoped she didn't notice what he was holding.

"Coffee?" she offered, handing it to Valens.

He couldn't stop smiling. "Thanks, Lil," he said, staring deep into her eyes. Rush got uncomfortable.

"Did something happen or did you just wake up in the sun?" Scotty looked down and tried to relax. He couldn't quite shake the feeling, though.

"No, not quite. But, hey, how about that beautiful day, huh?" he gestured to the window.

"Yeah," Lilly said thoughtfully as she gazed at the little bit of sky visible from their office. Valens watched her out of the corner of his eye as she stared off. Rush blinked and pulled her thoughts away from the distractions outside. She flashed a smile to make up for the lapse in conversation and started walking to her chair. Lilly stopped suddenly.

"Oh, Scotty, there was something I wanted to tell you." His eyes got wide, his heart skipped a beat, Valens' hand instinctively went to his pocket.

"But I can't remember…" His grip tightened and the note was crushed in his fist. He tried to look calm, collected.

"Well, I'm sure if it's real important you'll remember. Maybe make yourself a note so you don't forget again," Scotty said, clearing his throat.

For a second, he thought he saw something flash in Lilly's eye. Something not completely unfamiliar, but still strange. It was gone in an instant, as fast as it had come.

Scotty hoped she was thinking about the note she had written earlier that day. And he hoped that he could find out a little bit more about what it meant.

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A/N: Sorry this update took awhile. Priorities collided and I had business to attend to (which sounds shady, but it totally wasn't). Special thanks to you, dear reviewers: oucellogal, Elfi Blue, fbi-woman, Rhonda Roo, Barbydancer, Ebony10, LME, Wyaline, FloatingAmoeba, TeeFly, and mediamogul (who's comment fimally pushed me to update). More soon--and I mean "actually soon" not "lazy writer soon".

P.S. This is probably really random, but does anyone else think Kathryn Morris look kind of...weird this season? Or is it just me?


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Still am not an owner of Cold Case.

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Scotty and Lilly were zooming down the highway, on their way to meet a suspect in their current case. Rush was driving so that left Valens free to stared out the window and think.

He took a deep breath. Since he found _that_ note this morning, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He was imagining every way he could let Lilly know what he'd found.

He could give her back the note and say, 'I think you dropped this.' That would be pretty smooth. He could write her a note back. No, that would be a little too junior high. He could never mention the note and just ask her out. It seemed too obvious to be possible. Scotty already knew how she felt—at least, he was pretty sure he knew—all he had to do was ask her.

"Hell-loo! Valens!" Scotty looked at Lilly, who was glancing over at him. "Are you okay? You seem a bit…off."

He grinned. "No, no. I'm fine. What were you saying?"

"I'm getting off at the next exit and I need you to double check the street address."

"Oh, yeah. Sure thing," Scotty stammered, digging in his pocket for the address. He pulled out two slips of paper. He glanced down at the paper. _Det. Lilly Valens _Scotty quickly covered it with one hand and crumpled it up in his palm. He shoved it back in his pocket.

Lilly looked at him curiously. "Should I ask?"

Valens shook his head "Just a losing lotto ticket."

"Must have been quite a jackpot to get you so riled up."

"Yeah, something like that," Scotty answered patting his pocket.

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Author's Note: Been a while, huh? I've been so caught up, it's tough. I really appreciate everyone's support and I hope I haven't lost anyone since I last posted. Shout out to everyone who's been reviewing, thank you guys so much!!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Don't and won't ever own.

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It had been weeks since Scotty had found that note. Y'know..._that_ note. He had been keeping it in his coat pocket all the while, afraid to put it in his wallet—or anywhere else—because of a million little scenarios he was afraid might happen before he was ready to let them happen. (They mostly involved someone—Lilly or Vera—borrowing some cash from his wallet and the note _conveniently _"falling out.")

He regularly clutched it in his hand like a worry stone or stared at it while waiting in line at the post office. Valens still wasn't sure what he should do about it.

Scotty played every scene, every opportunity, over and over in his head. Always looking for the perfect moment to bring it up; putting it off day after day after day. But he knew he had all the time in the world to keep the note with him, consider it meaning—it's not like either of them were ever going to quit.

Scotty came into the office feeling warm under his winter coat for the first time in months. Lilly was sitting at her desk already, looking over a suspect's jacket. She glanced up at Scotty and smiled. "What are you wearing that for?" she asked, pointing to his coat.

Scotty shrugged instinctively, "It's cold out."

"Not really," Lilly said as Scotty noticed her short sleeves. "It's practically t-shirt weather."

"Isn't there supposed to be a transitional period between winter and summer? Like an entire season?" he joked, taking off his coat and feeling a weight lift off his shoulders instantly.

Lilly laughed, "Maybe not this year." Scotty hung his coat on the hanger and sat down. She continued, "But seriously, you might want to switch to something lighter. Don't want to get in the habit of lugging that thing around all summer, do you?"

Scotty froze up a little, "Nah, I guess I don't."

When it got too warm, he'd have to leave the coat at home, Scotty realized. Without the coat, he couldn't keep the note with him safely. Without the note, he couldn't think clearly about and work thought his (admittedly complicated) feelings for Lilly.

Valens ran his hands through his hair with a sigh: he had just been given a time limit.

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A/N: Gosh, it's hard to update this like I want to. I still love Cold Case, but it's difficult to keep up without constant inspiration. Special thanks to you, my reviewers: Wyaline, FloatingAmoeba, Rhonda Roo, fbi-woman, Ebony10, LME, lulubell6, Barbydancer, aeternus aenigma, and BananaXPancakes. Seriously, thank you. I would never _ever_ upload new chapters if it weren't for y'all.

The countdown is on for Scotty, and I am going to try and make this a whole story with an ending and everything. Wish me luck.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Okay, Ookay. I _really _don't own Cold Case.

Scotty slipped his hand in his pocket; it brushed up against the note. His winter coat had become obsolete the day before, and Scotty had decided that he would keep the note on himself for one more day. This was the last chance he was going to give himself.

If he couldn't work up the courage now, Scotty decided, he never would.

This was serious and it had to be treated it as such. Approaching Lilly to…he could barely think it out loud. _Approach Lilly to go on a date._ That's what he really wanted: a date. A date with Lilly. A date with his partner…And just like that he talked himself out again.

This internal struggle thing didn't work for Scotty. He'd never make his move if he spent all his time thinking about it. Scotty needed to take off the training wheels. Dive into the deep end. Go for it—headfirst.

"Hey, Lil," Scotty called to his partner as he drew near her. "You got a minute?"

"Sure, Scotty," Lilly nodded. "What is it?"

"Ah, see…I'm sort of in this...predicament and I was wondering if you could help me out."

"I can try but I'm not making any promises," she said, settling back into her desk chair. "What seems to be the problem? You flirting with more 'legally separated' women?"

"Nothing like that," Valens smirked. Sobering himself, he continued, "No, it's actually kind of big. I was thinking we could get a bite to eat and you could help me think it through, y'know? Two heads _are_ better than one."

"Um," Lilly paused, "I'm actually kind of busy right now, Scotty. I'm sorry. Maybe the boss could give you some advice?"

"Oh, yeah," Scotty was stunned, so taken aback he couldn't even think to say anything but: "Sure, right. Sorry, I was just thinking you might need a break. Hoping—" For what, he wasn't able say. His throat felt tight.

Lilly face twitched vaguely in confusion, but she didn't speak.

His hand flexed in frustration. He cleared his throat, "Never mind." He turned around and walked toward the door, shoving his fist into his pocket. It brushed up against the note.

Valens stopped dead. '_No_,' he said to himself.

"No," he said it out loud this time, firmly. Scotty pulled the note out of his pocket, keeping a tight grip on it. He turned on his heels and headed back to Lilly's desk.

A/N: Cliff hanger? Oh, snap! Don't worry, I got a plan. And I didn't take too long to update, all because fo you, faithful readers: Ebony10, FloatingAboeba, Wyaline, Rhonda Roo, Grengras, fbi-woman, BananaXPancakes, Mari, lulubell6, and aeternus aenigma. And all you folks who have the story on alert and such!

Also, do y'all think I should change the summary? Cause we've moved past that a little bit in the plot.


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